Just a reminder to everyone that Sunday 25 May is Towel Day. Towel Day was first held in 2001 for Douglas Adams fans to remember him. As far as I can asertain, in true Douglas Adam style there is actually no deep and meaningful reason behind the date, it is 10 days after Adams death. The girls and I will be going into Perth on Sunday afternoon, visiting Boarders with our towels.

I Am A: Lawful Good Halfling Paladin/Wizard (3rd/3rd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-13

Dexterity-9

Constitution-12

Intelligence-17

Wisdom-17

Charisma-12


Alignment:
Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.


Race:
Halflings are clever, capable and resourceful survivors. They are notoriously curious and show a daring that many larger people can't match. They can be lured by wealth but tend to spend rather than hoard. They prefer practical clothing and would rather wear a comfortable shirt than jewelry. Halflings stand about 3 feet tall and commonly live to see 150.


Primary Class:
Paladins take their adventures seriously, and even a mundane mission is, in the heart of the paladin, a personal test an opportunity to demonstrate bravery, to learn tactics, and to find ways to do good. Divine power protects these warriors of virtue, warding off harm, protecting from disease, healing, and guarding against fear. The paladin can also direct this power to help others, healing wounds or curing diseases, and also use it to destroy evil. Experienced paladins can smite evil foes and turn away undead. A paladin's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that they can cast. Many of the paladin's special abilities also benefit from a high Charisma score.


Secondary Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus</a></b> (e-mail)
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I went shopping for christmas presents today...I bought a book case...for me...I also have someone comming in to see about ducted airconditioning throughout the house tomorrow....

I didn't manage to find the things that I was looking for...I will endevor to do so...on the plus side I didn't buy a new book for me at the book shop.

Hailey is doing "Student host" at school tonight....she assures me that there is nothing abnormal about this...it is not an incubation period where she will turn into some rod weilding alien warrior.

I am designed to protect and made for walking

I wonder where I shall go today, how many paths I will be pounded against

I hear myself scuffing as the wind rushes by

I see that we are running today, that the grass is green

I want nothing more than a clean pair of socks

I am designed to protect and made for walking

I pretend that I am shiny and black, aristocratic

I feel the polished ballroom floor beneath me

I touch a pair of clean white socks

I worry that I will wake from my day dream soon

I cry, I am still just a pair of sneakers

I am designed to protect and made for walking

I understand that a sneaker like me could never be a fancy black shoe

I say to myself that it isn’t too bad, I have a good life

I dream still of that polished ballroom floor

I try to remain in reality as apposed to my fantasy

I hope only that one day I will have that pair of neat, clean, white, matching socks

I am designed to protect and made for walking

the I am poem
For those who enjoy poetry or like self expression this is a quick and easy exersise. I really enjoyed doing it and it only takes about 5 minutes. You can either start each line with I am or with the described comment.eg, I am - I wonder etc. Whatever suits you best.

I am (Two special characteristics the person or thing has)
I wonder (something the person or thing could actually be curious about)
I hear (an imaginary or actual sound)
I see (an imaginary or actual sight)
I want (a desire)
I am (the first line of the poem is repeated)

I pretend (something the person or thing could actually pretend to do)
I feel (a feeling about the imaginary)
I touch (an imaginary touch)
I worry (something that could really bother the person or thing)
I cry (something that could make the person or thing sad)
I am (the first line of the poem is repeated)

I understand (something the person or thing knows to be true)
I say (something the person or thing believes in)
I dream (something the person or thing could actually dream about)
I try (something the person or thing could make an effort to do)
I hope (something the person or thing could hope for)
I am (the first line of the poem repeated)

Ok I am feeling restless and wanting to just ESCAPE.

Well its midnight (nearly) and my psyche has decided that right now would be a great time for a panic attack...I aren't really sure what about even. Just about everything is ready to go away. It just seems a little sureal that I am actually going to go away. I have been compulsively writing lists in my head of all the things that I have too do to get ready to go. And mentally ticking things off as I do them. There is only about five things that I have to do tomorrow...not much at all.

The FOB concert was great. Admitedly it was great mostly for me because it was wonderful seeing Hailey enjoy something so much. I know that i should always be proud of my daughter dancing to the beat of her own drum - and I honestly am. I suport her 100%, I still (at the moment anyway) talk the same language as she does. I also know how hard it is sometimes to be dancing out of rhythm with everyone else. So seeing my tactile defencive daughter cope with the seathing mass of teenage humanity...I really don't know how to explain what it felt like.

I also went to the Royal Show with Maddy and Amber and met Adam there. They had a ball of a time and again I had special time with Maddy doing things that she wanted to do (admitedly this involved letting her spend lots of money on rides and the like). I was fairly impressed with the fact that I spent a relatively painless six hours there. I asked Hailey if she wanted to come, which she replied "Hell NO", I took photos of sideshow alley on my phone to show her what she was missing out on.

In between all this i have been working my way through the book "19 minutes" by Jodi Picoult. I am finding this story both very unconfortable to read and nearly impossible to put down. Saying that I am feeling calm again so I will probably wander back to bed and read a little more.

Is just about organised to go away. I really cant wait.

Before I go away to prove I am a good mother I am going too.....

attend the Fall Out Boy concert with Hailey and a friend.

go to the royal show taking Maddy and her friend.

Spend as little time as possible doing anything that my children actually dont want me to do...yes this list is extensive. It also involves me not going out at all unless suitably accompanied by either Hailey or Maddy to chaperone me.

I bought a tweety bird tee-shirt today. And a nighty to wear away...it says oink. I have bought shoes as well...

We like things.
They fixate on Objects.

We try to make friends.
They display attentions seeking behavior.

We take a break.
They display off-task behaviors.

We stand up for ourselves.
They are non-compliant.

We have hobbies.
They self-stim.

We choose our friends wisely.
They display poor socialization.

We persevere.
They perseverate.

We love people.
They have dependencies on people.

We go for a walk.
They run away.

We insist.
They tantrum.

We change our minds.
They are disoriented and have short attention span.

We have talents.
They have SPLINTER SKILLS.

We are human.
They are ?????????????????

Remember reading this poem years ago, it stuck in my mind. I have an official contract in the ABA room at KBS for next term. Well actually i will be three days a week in the ABA room and two days a week in the multi's room. I enjoy working in ABA (applied behavioural analysis) but sometimes the intensive structure worrys me. I think it is a great help with the kids with autism in the higher functional end of the spectrum if the result means that the kids end up in main stream schools for pre-primary/lower primary. But some of these poor kids work their way through the whole of there 14 (+)years of school with no chance to have time to just be themselves. It is worse if the kids have after school help at home, so they go from an intensively structured class room to intensively structured after school activitys....just thoughts....sometimes fingerpainting can just look like a blob on the page if you ask me...when making a picture of a train...why cant the wheels go on the top of the train occassionally? I have friends (and indeed myself occassionally) that regularly stim on things like cigarette lighters, paperclips et al - should we all have behaviour modification programmes?

I must admit that I really would love to learn to fly. Fly as in the Hitch Hikers Guide, you know, first you step out of the window, second you remember not to hit the ground. I have practice the first step so many times, I just can't seem to get the second step right. One day...maybe

Hailey recieved the itenary for the French trip today. Yes she is going again...the sudden attack of nerves has been soothed after talking to her french teacher and a promise from me to get her a private french tutor (because she is worried her convisational french isn't good enough).

Some of the trip highlights will include -

Eiffel Tower
Le Louvre Museum
Boat Trip on the Seine River
Champs Elysees and Arc de Triomphe
Notre Dame
Montmartre and Place Du Tertre
Les Halles, artists place and Modern Art Museum
Versailles and the famous gardens
Le quartier latin (learning institutions, publishing houses, bookshops and terrace cafes)
Euro-Disney

She goes in April. The only issue at the moment is were exactally am I going to produce $4K from plus spending money.

Haileys confidence grows in leeps and bounds this year. She entered some of her poetry in a haiku poetry competiton. She has entered the art and drama thingy at school in which she is going to preform a monolog. I must say it is a simply brilliant monolog showing a side of herself that doesn't often get seen at school.

Maddy has decided to join the scouts. She has been twice and seems to be really enjoying it. There is a camp in November. They will be hiking and sleeping out under the stars. It should be interesting.

As people probably remember one of "our" interests has long been chernobyl and the after effects of this event in history. It constantly amazes me that so little was actually known about this catastrophic event. While I am waiting waiting I revisited a site that shows the horror that was caused by chernobyl.

http://www.kiddofspeed.com/chapter1.html

This was brought to my attention again by the plan to build a new steel dome over the crumbling concreate sarcophagus that at present provides proteciton from the nuclear waste.

http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,2144,2787018,00.html

Well yesterday was THE DAY. The day of the Department of Education and Trainnings lotto for pays. I waited in anticipation for the postie to arrive, and with trepidation opened my pay slip...LOSER. Unfortunatly instead of fixing the mistakes where they didn't pay me for 4.5 days last pay fortnight, they neglected to pay me for this fortnight at all...well thats not true. They paid me for the one day I called in sick, I am on casual rates - they don't pay for sick days. They now owe me 13.5 days pay.

I rang KBS and they insist that not only was last pays correction done but my time sheets for this fortnight have definatly been sent in... in other words its SEP. I will wait till 9am and ring Payroll, or hold-on thats a government department I had better make that 9:30.

I am frustrated, I am sick and tired of fighting for my rites in money matters. Paul says it just proves that in our job, we really need to be paying them for the privelage of working.

In other news...

Steve has torn a muscle at work. He is off on workers Comp...its only 16 days till we fly out. He should be alright, as long as it is just a torn muscle. I spent yesterday running him around to Drs apts, and ultrasounds and the like.

Maddy and I have both managed to aquire the flu again... Is sick of sick.

I finished reading "Gang of four", it seems that i have regained my ability to read. I always have a book with me again. At least it is only one now, I don't have to be reading several different books at one time, and I don't panic if I don't have a book with me now to "protect" me.

Hailey has started working her way through Anne Rice books. She read her latest book which she wrote as a born again christian. She then started working her way through the vampire novels. I bought her "the withching hour" as my copy had some how become missplaced in the last move. I wonder what she thinks of that book...and if she is really ready to read it? I know that I discovered horror when I was 12 and it took me many many years to progress past horror.

I did have fun wandering through "Elizabeths" in subi. I had a Drs appointment in west perth yesterday which steve drove me too as I couldn't face peek hour trafic and the thought of the appointment by myself. Afterwards we wandered through the streets of subi, had tea and looked at Elizabeths. I only bought books for Hailey and Madeline...wasn't I strong.

NaNoWriMo is comming up. Hailey has started to plan her characters. I haven't even thought about what I will write this year.

I had a phone call today from Lizzy. I haven't talked to Lizzy in about 6 months, she stopped calling me, and I admit the phonecalls were hard work, they left me exausted and feeling a little manic myself, so I stopped ringing her.

She is in hospital for a "rest" she finally went right over the top. Hopefully this will be the turning point in her life. She will be able to get some help and sort through the issues.

She was very very manic this morning, she rang for about 30 minutes and I managed to get aproxamitly 30 words in all together. She hadn't slept in the last three months, she has lost 20kgs because she wasn't eating.

I am left with a vague feeling of disquiet, and unrest. I had a eczema attack after the phone call - just because the whole thing was very intense. On the one hand, I would like to stick by her and "be" there for her. On the other I don't know wether I actually have the strength to do that without risk to myself.

I remember what it felt like to be in that situation. I know what it is like to have only one person stick by me, when I most needed people. To have that person remind me that it was ok, the world hadn't fallen apart only I had.

I guess I will take it as it comes...

I cant save the world...I can only save myself...perhaps that outlook is selfish...I don't have to save Lizzy, but perhaps i can still be there when she needs me.